Sometimes we separate from someone we love, only to find ourselves drawn back to them after time has gone by. Making the decision to rekindle a former relationship with an ex can be tough, but the real hard work comes during the reconciliation period. How can you build upon a past relationship so that it’s stronger now? As your therapist may tell you, all of your previous problems are likely to still be there, so it’s important that you fully work through them so you don’t find yourself back in the same cycle of arguments.
Rebuilding the foundation of a relationship with an ex is delicate, and takes patience. One of the best things you can do during this fragile period of getting back with an ex, is to seek support from a therapist with counseling, like counseling in Palatine, IL from Lotus Wellness Center.
Consider What Led To The Breakup
With help from a therapist, you can talk about how your relationship had fallen apart, and what factors had contributed to ultimately parting ways. Without this kind of understanding, you are very likely to both return to the same patterns without even realizing it. And while digging up past hurts of what caused the breakup can be painful, if you don’t clear that up from the start, you aren’t starting with a fresh slate.
Be Patient With Yourself and Partner
Jumping back into the best of times with your ex and what you had together can be exciting, but the healing and rebuilding may take time. As your therapist may discuss with you during couples counseling, the time it takes to build that trust and connection may not happen overnight. This is especially true for couples that broke up due to infidelity.
Treat The Relationship As If It’s Brand New
If you treat your relationship as if it is the first time you are getting together, it can help resolve issues of the past and make you more aware of your partner’s feelings. Your first try at the relationship did not work out, and it’s important to get support from a therapist to decrease the likelihood that you will make the same mistakes twice. As humans we are imperfect and bound to repeat our errors, that is, unless we have taken concrete steps to be different.
Get To Know Each Other Again
Even if you weren’t separated for very long, there are ways that you or your partner may have changed as a result of the breakup or other life events. As your therapist may suggest, do not assume that you know everything about the other person. If you treat the relationship the same as if you were picking up from where you broke up, you may be headed towards parting ways again in the near future. This is also a good time to talk about your goals and vision for the new relationship, so you can both begin on a new page together.
